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Friday, July 30, 2010

a moment to myself

I actually have quite a few moments to myself but I usually don't do things I should with those quite moments. Most often I watch a T.V show, read something, look at others blogs, and other piddly things.

As a was just putting my beautiful little boy to sleep tonight, I couldn't help but realize that I am completely and blissfully happy with my life as his mother. I love what I do. I love all of it. I'm pretty sure that this is what I was made to do. Of course I believe we are all as daughters of God divinely given the job as Mother but I seem to be meant for this above all else.

I can't believe how tiring it all is. It is HARD work. But I seem to forget all of that before it ever become anything other than a passing thought. His smile, his laugh, his insatiable curiosity is irresistible. I even find myself almost wishing I had more time with Carson. Just him and me. He's my baby and yet I have another one coming in less than two months! aw, how can that be! I've heard of this baby #2 worry. That mothers feel like they might leave the first without all the attention they were used to, and how we can possibly give them everything we gave them when it was just the two of us. Of course as soon as this little girl comes out, it will be as if we were always a family of 4 but for now, it's funny to have these thoughts.

I have come to know more and more each day that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. Marriage has been a huge guide towards my increased testimony. It's amazing how celestial it really is. And motherhood has been just as influential. Life is not super exciting, and we don't have pictures and great adventure stories to tell, but it's so real. My life is real, and I couldn't be happier about the fact. Nothing fake. My husband is loyal, a good man, and he loves me.

aw, i'm feeling scatter-brained. so many thoughts, such a good day. but i'm tired. till the next moment...

1 comment:

tracy said...

Mal, it's wonderful to feel the spirit and purity of your words. Your parents must be so pleased with who you always have been and who you are right now...I know that I am grateful to have you as family! I see myself in your words too, about my sweetie Cade! I'm glad you're realizing with your first. Hope you are feeling well. I'm happy you've taken some time to catch up on your blog. I love you!